Kill Stealer!!!

Ahhh multiplayer video games, how I love thee. I've been playing multiplayer games for, well a long time. I remember playing DOOM over LAN which means I've been playing for at least 16 or 17 years. A long time. The first time I remember playing team deathmatch is with TFC in 1999 so I've been playing team deathmatch for over a decade now. However, If you've played an online game for more then ten minutes you've probably heard this term before: kill stealer.

So what is a kill stealer? Well that's pretty easy to figure out, someone who steals your kill. If you and another person are shooting at the same target? Well whoever started shooting second is the kill stealer. At least according to the people on the internet. Hell, sometimes it doesn't even work that way. Sometimes if the person who started shooting second perceives that he may have done most of the damage and you just happened to get the lucky last shot in, you are still in fact the kill stealer. Basically depending on how big of a dick the other person is you are always the kill stealer. No matter what.

Lately I haven't been playing multiplayer games as much. Mostly I just do the single player campaigns in games. Why you ask? Well because 90% of the people in any sort of gaming community are complete dicks. That's really not fair though, it's actually more like 10% of the gaming community... but they're the most vocal. They're the kind of people who made your life a living hell in junior high. They're the kind of people who are still making someone's life a living hell in junior high because they tend to be about 15. If I wanted to be berated by a 15 year old about how much I suck I would just ride the school bus more. But now that I'm pushing 30, I don't really want to put up with that kind of shit. I mostly just want to chill out and play video games and not be called a fag by someone who just barely finished puberty.

Then along came Call of Duty: Black Ops. I love the Call of Duty games, and I've been a huge fan of their multiplayer since Call of Duty: World at War. The Call of Duty games are the one time I'll forget about my no multiplayer rule and go online to be harassed. Usually I just hop into a game, mute every single person with a mic and go about my killing day. "Why mute everyone?" You ask, "what if someone has to tell you important tactical information like where a bad guy is!?" Let me tell you, in the entire time I've been playing the Call of Duty games I believe I've played in one single game where a person was trying to rally the team together, giving useful information, trying to get the team to capture certain spots... you know the things we should be trying to do. Well he was ridiculed, harassed, and ignored until he eventually left. He must have been new to the game because he should have known that you should only use the mic to talk about how high/drunk you are or if you are going to question someone's sexuality.

Team killer. It's a phrase I've heard thousands of times. It's a phrase that I've grown to hate. It's phrase that really makes no sense.

Yesterday I was playing Call of Duty: Black Ops and had mistakenly forgotten to mute everyone on my team. I saw someone on the opposite team coming through the door I was about five feet from. I open fire and so does the guy behind me. I get the kill, he gets the assist. About a second later another bad guy comes through the same door, again both him and I open fire, I get the kill he gets the assist. Then comes the verbal tirade. I was a kill stealer. He had been waiting for someone to come through that very door and here I come waltzing in stealing his kills. That was the gist of what he was yelling at me for, mixed in with a lot of "fucker", "homo", and "fag" liberally spread throughout. Ahhh multiplayer gaming community, how I've missed you.

Instead of presenting a well thought out argument I just muted him and went on with my life, but it got me thinking about kill stealing... and mostly how it's complete and total bullshit.

So I'm just going to say it. There is no such thing as kill stealing in a team game. Every kill is helpful to making it towards the teams goal. It doesn't matter if person A gets the kill or person B gets the kill because it helped the team which both person A and B are a part of. That's a very broad argument though that doesn't factor in the fact that a lot of people in multiplayer games are assholes. You always have to factor in the assholes. Sure it's a team game, but did you see my kill death ratio? Sure, that guy secured 6 flags and defended 4, but I want 30 and 2!

Kill death ratio is important in some modes of play, in Call of Duty: Black Ops Team Deathmatch you get 100 points for a kill, first team to 10000 wins. You want more kills and less deaths... but again, it doesn't matter who on the team got that kill. If person A got the kill it counts as 100 points just like if person B got the kill. No matter who go the kill your team still gets that 100 points and therefor it is helpful to your team.

Team games aren't about teams anymore though. If it's six on six I can almost guarantee there are six I's to a team. Have you ever played against a clan in a game before? You, a ragtag group against people who aren't any better than you on an individual level but worked well as a team? Let me guess, you absolutely go slaughtered. There's a reason for that. No matter how good you are as an individual if you're looking down the barrel of six guns you're probably not going to win. Bet you wish there were five guys behind you backing you up. How's your kill to death ratio now, asshole?

There is no such thing as a kill stealer in a team game, and you know why? There's absolutely no way to stop someone from "stealing your kills". If I walk into a room and there's two guys on my team shooting at one guy on the other team, I'm sure as hell going to make it three guys on our team shooting one guy on their team. You know why? Because let's say I go on my merry way leaving you two to kill this person because I don't want to be a kill stealer... what happens if he kills both of you? Should I wait and not fire until you're both dead just so I don't steal that kill? Hell no, for one I'm pretty sure you don't want to be dead and two I don't want to be dead either. Anyone on the other team is a target, I don't care how many people are shooting at him. For all I know he's going to see me and start shooting at me next. I need him dead so I don't become dead, and at the end of the day? It's helping the team.

People need to learn that when playing a team game they need to act as a team. Their teammates are not their enemies, they are their teammates. Some of the most fun I've had in team deathmatch games is when you have two evenly balanced teams, working together against each other, fighting for supremacy. If you really want to play a me, me, me game just go play deathmath or just go play single player. Because I want to play as a team.

Squid.